the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
