i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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