Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
