I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
