Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
