I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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