I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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