i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
