I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
