We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Houston, we have a blender
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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