No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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