I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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