Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
