Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
