I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
