I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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