3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
