Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
