I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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