ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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