I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize