I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
