Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
