If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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