I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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