i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
