Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
