That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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