sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am available for nakedness
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
