butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
