You just made me feel so damn special
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
