I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
