i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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