My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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