..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
