so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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