AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
