better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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