Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
