At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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