Apparently you make a good broom.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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