8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
