Your mouth is God's brothel.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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