I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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