Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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