just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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