Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
