Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
