You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
