Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
