yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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