Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
