Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
