My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
