You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
