I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
