I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
