Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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