Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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