i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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