don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
