My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
