Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize