hell yes lets make some ravioli
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ketchup is God's man juice
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
