I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
